Here I am. It's the beginning of February and I'm about to go to my future university for the first time to audition and tour the campus. I finally feel like I have control of my own life. Ciria and I will be staying with Robin and Ada at their house and I can't wait!
I guess I'd better start back at the beginning. I'm the middle of three kids, all controlled viciously by my overbearing and strict parents. If anyone looked up "living through their children" they would see a picture of the Gealy family. I've always, even since I was little, felt like I was adopted or put into the wrong family because while my brother and sister faithfully did all they were forced by our parents I always felt it was wrong. I'm stubborn and as I've learned it's not the negative thing that they tried to wring from me but it was the rock by which I finally launched myself away.
My entire life was mapped out for me, mostly by my strict and fearsome father. I happened to like some doctor set I had as a child and from then on my parents decided that I was going to be a doctor. At first I went along with it because I thought I liked it. I made my parents proud and they supported me. However, by the time I hit my teens I slowly realized that I was doing medicine for all the wrong reasons. I somehow convinced my parents to let me take band in elementary school and realized that music was my passion and that it was so much greater than being a doctor had ever been. Though I felt happy doing medical stuff I had a new feeling when I played music. My parents made me go to a medical charter school when I was 12 though and I couldn't do band anymore.
It was at this point that I realized I only wanted to be a doctor because my parents were making me. Just before my 7th grade year was over I went to the counselor's office. My perfect grades were still intact but my interest had slipped so much that I was depressed and couldn't do it anymore. After a huge fight with my parents about it, in which I'm not even sure how I managed to break their wall, I was sent back to the regular middle school for 8th grade where I again took band, having kept up with the trombone in secret. If I had a coin for every time that my family tried to talk me out of playing trombone I would have had enough money to bust out of this miserable place within a year.
My parents, mad that my stubborn side had actually challenged and subdued them, didn't support me at all in my musical endeavors. I had to get rides from my friends to get to concerts because they wouldn't even drive me. They were pushing to get me into the good medical programs in high school but I held my ground and tried to resist. Eventually, I gave up and spent two hours a day getting bussed to a special campus to do medical training. I still managed to keep my grades up and do band on the side, although it was very difficult. I didn't have many friends at all and was absolutely miserable.
Throughout all of this time I managed to track down my aunt Ciria (my mom's sister) who had been kicked out of our family several years ago for not going with her parents' plans for her. She disappeared from all family related things and I just so happened to finally find her number and call her. We talked for hours and she gave me the reassurance that I was indeed doing the right thing. She even promised me that she would help me in any way that she could and that whenever I finally had enough and ran away from home (we both knew it was inevitable) she would welcome me with open arms. She paid for my high school band expenses and showed up at every music event of mine.
My father got increasingly more angry with me and he got scary at times. I thought he was going to beat me up. He never laid a hand on me but his words certainly did their damage. He'd try to manipulate me and it was only due to my gift of aura that I could withstand it without falling into chains. He threatened many times to kidnap me from music events and I had to attend everything while living in fear of what he would do to me. Somehow I managed to make everything work and keep my stupid high marks so that my parents could brag to their richy-rich neighborhood how perfect their family was.
The kicker finally came shortly after I turned 18. By then I'd had a job for 2 years and worked my butt off saving money for a car and to live on my own. With my own car came freedom to do more things. I lived in fear of my parents ruining my car but thankfully they never actually did. My senior year started and I was supposed to be filling out the form to go to AMU. Little did they know I ripped up the form after filling it out. They somehow trusted me with mailing the letter myself which gave me the perfect opportunity to hide it away. I instead applied for a normal school with a good music program as far away as I could. I got accepted at all of the schools I applied for and obviously didn't get accepted at AMU because I never turned in the forms. The consent forms were signed by Ciria. My parents finally found out on December 23rd, launching the biggest fight yet. Over the past few months I'd been ever so slowly packing up my things and taking them to Ciria's house a town over so that I wouldn't lose anything I cared about when the day came. They saw the letter from AMU saying I missed the deadline. I was so scared of being physically injured and there was a definite battle of words. Finally, my mother looked me in the eye and calmly said, "You have one hour to get out."
To me it was the best sentence I'd ever heard in that house. It still stung a lot but I was finally freed. No more picking my schedule for me. No more being forced to compete in things to being home trophies that my father prized over me. I calmly walked to my room, gathered the rest of my things (leaving all evidence of trophies, ribbons, and medical school things behind) and got in my car, leaving my house forever. When I got to Cyria's house I walked in without knocking, suitcase behind me, and saw her sitting on her couch. We made eye contact and 18 years of holding in any frustration and anger suddenly erupted from my soul. I've been physically unable to cry for years and here I was sobbing in my aunt's arms. She didn't even have to ask. She knew that I had been kicked out. December 27, 2011 to me is one of the most important days in my life. I haven't been able to cry since that day either. No matter how much I want to, tears don't come.
My estranged parents were kind enough to mail me all of my documentation like birth certificate and all of that legal stuff. They would have paid for my schooling in full if I had gone to AMU but I know Ciria's story and it's already making a difference in my life, as I'm able to do things right the first time without the pains of having to figure it out later down the road. Ciria, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for walking this path first. You were so brave. Thank you for charting these waters so that I wouldn't have to. For the first time in my life I was able to sign up for classes that I wanted to take. Having attained every credit necessary for graduation almost two years ago this semester is so very easy. No more medical school class, no more math, no more anything. I get a free period at the end of the day which means that I can go to work earlier and get more hours in. I'm still graduating with honors although I'm not walking. I don't even care. Every day when I go back to school I remember all I went through to get here. I do have a class ring which is a tangible reminder of my struggles.
This next Saturday, on 11 February, I'm going to Knywd with Ciria to audition for KU, the college we have decided on. I found it through my friend Robin, known to me as "12obin St00d." We play the same online game together and I found him a long time ago while cutting magic trees at the witch tower. We found out we both played trombone and became friends. As we talked our friendship deepened and I ended up being a member of his clan, Sno Gang. Around the time we became really close friends I began to open up about my situation. He's the one who suggested I apply at KU, which I did and it ended up being the best option for me and Ciria. When I got kicked out of my house I called him on Skype and got to talk to him. He's so sweet and we'll be staying at his house for three days come next Thursday. It'll be a long train ride but we're both excited to go and both of us are looking forward to meeting 12obin St00d and Antoine Reba in person!
Here's to peace.
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